Yesterday I shared the first part of this list of corporate jargon. You will have already worked out that a lot of it is saying entirely mundane and everyday things in language that is trying to make it all sound much more important than it is. Here are some more of these self-important and pretentious phrases that are battering the English language:
Lean in—it means ‘try harder’ but as a bit English it is nonsense. Lean in toward? Are you in a Rugby scrum?
Let’s take this offline—meaning ‘let’s talk about this later.’ This tries to make the old-fashioned business of dodging an issue look cool and high tech. But it’s still a dodge!
Leverage—apply a bit of power; or making something more powerful. In politics it usually means ‘I’ve got something on him, and I’ll blackmail him into agreeing with what I want.’
Move the needle—an image borrowed from electronic equipment covered with dials. It’s an especially silly way of saying your goal is to get a response.
Negative growth—there is no such thing! There is shrinkage! There is going backwards! There is failing! But ‘growth’ is never negative. This is taking an axe to the English language and chopping it into small bits of firewood!
Piggyback—this is used in corporate meetings when someone wants to add something: ‘I’d just like to piggyback on that remark.’ What’s wrong with ‘add to’? What’s wrong with clear, basic English? Apparently in corporate circles clear English is an unwanted beast.
Pivot—Turn. That’s all it means. It is an attempt to make any turn sound like a piece of heavy engineering. Often used when the news is bad. The meeting is told to ‘pivot’ to ways of saving money. Just silly.
Probabilistic—this is just the word ‘probable’ with a bunch of additional (unnecessary!) syllables added to turn it into an inflated, pretentious bit of chest-pounding self-importance.
Put a pin in that—making a mark or taking a note of where we’re up to. About as intelligent and adult as playing ‘pin the tail on the donkey.’
Double click on that—means exactly the same as the above, but this is drawn from the world of computing (by people who spend most of their lives glued to their laptops!.
Touch base—talk to someone. Yes, that’s all it means. But, somehow, by using a metaphor from the world of American baseball it is made to sound bigger and more important!
That’s enough for today. But (I’m sorry to say) it’s quite over yet—the third and final bit of this list tomorrow.
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